Things I've Learned You Should NOT Do. . .

when regularly working 55+ hours per week, dragging your feet through the sludge of sleep deprivation, and trying not to become unglued while experiencing intense periods of chaos and stress.

You should NOT. . .

• shop alone, particularly at the grocery store. If you do, you may end up with ridiculous items in your cart such as the Whole Foods "natural" version of chocolate pop-tarts. Which makes no sense because a) what the hell is a "natural" pop-tart? and b) you haven't eaten a chocolate pop-tart in years.
  

• wear uncomfortable shoes, especially flats that rub off the skin on the outside of your pinky toe.
  

• compare yourself to others who work less, make more money, and have more prestige (which, let's face it, includes most of my Masters-level peers).

• feel guilty about unreturned e-mails and phone calls.

• daydream about your next vacation, particularly if your next vacation is not coming until September, which is not soon enough to elicit any sighs of relief.

• worry about the fact that the lack of cleanliness in your bathroom will soon create ideal conditions for all sorts of things that grow (and we're not talking plants here).

• be chatty with people at the office, as they are all getting on your nerves due to work-induced stress. You will inevitably say something not nice.

• delude yourself into thinking that you are still going to make it to the gym every morning.

• position yourself anywhere close to an open bag of chips.

• lose your sense of humor.