The last two weeks have been a complete and total whirlwind. I had three interviews in three days the first week, followed by two interviews and three job offers last week. It didn't take long for me to realize that I was likely facing an agonizing decision. Though no one can complain about having more than one job offer (especially in this economy!), I was presented with two totally different opportunities, and both were incredibly appealing (as for the third offer, I knew right after I finished the interview that it was not right for me).
The first offer I received, which is the one I accepted and the one most of you have heard about, was for a Program Coordinator position facilitating an industry partnership to help low-wage health care workers increase their earnings and career opportunities. I actually interviewed for a policy job at the host nonprofit several weeks ago; though the position was offered to the other candidate (who, coincidentally, I now sit across from), I was invited to apply for other opportunities. I loved the organization, loved the people, absolutely adored the work they're doing, and saw lots of amazing growth opportunities. Financial education and self-sufficiency work is something that I've wanted to get involved in for a long time. Poverty and economic inequality issues are why I became a social worker in the first place. It all seemed to be the perfect fit.
The next day after receiving the first offer, I was invited to interview for a Managing Director position at a small, extremely progressive nonprofit disability service provider, co-founded and run by a young married couple that I immediately liked. My specialization in graduate school was management, so the prospect of a Director position was very exciting to me: this was an opportunity to direct the internal operations of the organization, including everything from staff management to quality improvements to developing programs and policies. The opportunity to have so much influence in an organization and to be involved in quality improvements (a passion of mine) was incredibly appealing, and I also couldn't help but be tempted by the salary: a good $15-20,000 higher than the other position (that is a lot of money for anyone, but trust me when I say that it is really a lot for a social worker).
There were several catches, though. I love working with people with disabilities, but it comes with a lot of things that are difficult for me--something I discovered the hard way in my last position in St. Louis. I find it incredibly stressful to be responsible for someone's health and safety 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. A pager was my constant companion at my last job, leaving me absolutely no boundaries between my work life and my home life; this Director position would require me to be available to staff nearly all the time, whenever they had a major problem or emergency, for services that operate around the clock. Like most disability service providers, the organization faced some serious staffing issues. During the interview process, I felt my stomach flip several times when I thought about what this job might mean for my quality of life.
Still, I made a pros and cons list for each position. I read articles online about how to choose between two job offers. I used a Kiplinger rating scale designed to help you decide which of two jobs is best for you (unsurprisingly, the jobs scored almost dead even--an accurate reflection of my feelings at the time). I talked it over endlessly with Dan, my sister, and my mom. I could hardly sleep. On one hand, the first job felt like the right one, though the pay was less and the position had less prestige; on the other hand, I saw opportunities to bring about real change in an organization, and I couldn't help but imagine how great that extra $20,000 a year would be for our plans to buy a house and pay down our student loans. On Thursday afternoon last week, after my second interview for the Director position and a tentative offer, I told Dan, "I honestly don't know what I'm going to do." And I really didn't know.
As I drove home, though, things started to make more sense. I noticed that, when I talked about the Director position, I was saying a lot of "but"s: "Such and such would be great, but. . . ." I felt like I was trying to talk myself into the job. I felt a little uneasy in the pit of my stomach when I imagined the prospect of my first day of work in the Director position. I realized I wasn't listening to my inner self, which was telling me exactly what to do. On Thursday evening, I summed it up perfectly to Dan when I said, "I've been letting my ambition override my intuition."
And so, on Friday, I called and took the job I'm in now. The job that pays less but that fits me so much better. I'm only two days in, and I'm certain I've made the right decision. From what I can tell, the work will be busy, challenging, and meaningful, but significantly less stressful than my previous job. I feel excited about what I'm doing, and opportunities to do new things and get involved in different aspects of the organization have already been presented to me. This afternoon, while sitting in a meeting, I thought, "This is definitely where I want to be." So I'd like to take a moment to say thanks to my intuition. This time I listened, and as usual, it was the right thing to do.
