"Just Make Sure You Don't Starve"

Almost three years ago, I made the switch to a vegetarian diet. It was the culmination of a long process, starting with giving up red meat, then limiting most meat altogether, and finally deciding that giving it up was something I could do. The China Study pushed me over the edge to start down the veg path, and though it totally convinced me that a vegan diet was the healthiest thing to do, going vegan was never something I imagined for myself. I gave it an (unsuccessful) trial period for a month, then decided to make more vegan meals at home, but ultimately decided that a vegan diet was too difficult to manage and that a life without cheese was unthinkable.

Nonetheless, I did have a nagging feeling every now and then that a vegan diet was something I really wanted to do. As I've developed several health conditions over the last few years, I've been unable to shake the feeling that a vegan diet might make a difference. The more I've learned about factory farming, the more horrified I have become at the dairy and egg industries. Of course, there are many healthy alternatives to a vegan diet. And there are many humane farmers out there who treat their animals with compassion and respect (though, unfortunately, they are a ridiculously small minority compared the monstrosity that is factory farming). Still, as much as I love cheese--and I honestly don't think that I know anyone who loves cheese more than me--I occasionally found myself wondering if I loved it enough to ignore the nagging concerns that I had.

I am not out to share some vegan manifesto. I do not believe, in any way, that a vegan diet is for everyone. But, for me, something has clicked. Somehow, in the past several weeks, a few things have finally culminated into the "Aha!" moment I needed. I gave up caffeine and alcohol for my Meneire's--two things I thought it would be impossible to give up altogether--and it turns out that I'm getting along just fine. During my research into dietary factors that could be contributing to my health conditions, I realized that casein may, in fact, be the worst culprit of all. I picked up a copy of Alicia Silverstone's book The Kind Diet during a trip to Barnes & Noble and found all of my reasons for considering a vegan diet reinforced on the pages. And suddenly, I got it: I have all the information I need, and everything is pointing to the fact that now is the time. And so, my friends, I am going vegan.

More than anything, I think I finally have the courage to do it. Every time I've considered going vegan in the past, a series of questions have plagued me: Am I ready for the endless comments from others who won't understand? What if no one wants to invite me to dinner parties? What if I stress out my mother at Thanksgiving? Can I avoid all the food around me at potlucks and birthday parties and during the holidays? What will I order when I go out to eat? And so on, and so on. Turns out, these questions mostly revolve around one thing: what other people will think, and how they will respond. I realize now that I can't avoid doing something I know is right for me for fear that it might inconvenience others or make me feel like I'm on the outside of things. Most people will understand, or will at least be accepting if they don't. And, of course, many will not. And that is okay. I can handle that.

There is, of course, the final question that remains: what about cheese? I thought about this one for a long time (I love it that much), but in the end, I realized that I was basing my life decisions around cheese pizza, and that started to seem ridiculous. I love, love, love food, but there are still SO many wonderful, delicious, satisfying foods that I can eat, and it's more than possible for me to live without one of them. It may not be easy at first, but I can do it, and I think I will feel better for it in the end. Now that I've been without cheese for some time, I don't find myself craving it much any more. In fact, I was rather horrified about what happened to my body when I stopped eating dairy; I didn't know this could happen, but it turns out that you can go through dairy detox. I was ridiculously tired, head-achey, and nauseous for several days when I first stopped eating dairy--I was THAT addicted, and when I think about it, it makes me a little relieved that I let it go. Luckily, I'm feeling great now, and my cravings have switched from cheese to vegetarian sushi (mmmm).

I make this sound as though I have this all perfectly in the bag, but of course I do not. Though I definitely feel different this time--and though I truly do believe that I am ready for the switch--I have yet to see how I will handle all the obstacles ahead. I have been out to eat a couple of times without a problem, and I did pass up dessert at a friend's house last weekend (they knew about my diet changes, and politely asked me if they needed to make a vegan dessert, but I told them to go ahead with their plans and also brought some vegan cookies to share). I've successfully avoided many of the snacks and goodies at the office. I'm still working out how I'm going to handle unique situations like travel and the holidays, for which I may make exceptions, meaning that I allow myself to eat vegetarian--rather than vegan--a couple of times a year. We'll see how things unfold. I'm not going to punish myself or restrict myself to the point that I'm stressed or miserable, but I do feel that sticking to a vegan diet as much as I can--if not all of the time--feels like the right thing to do.

As for the title of this post--"just make sure you don't starve"--that was my mother's reaction when I told her about the switch (though, overall, she was very understanding). Luckily, there will be no starvation in sight. Instead, to me, it feels more like an abundance. More like a way to be more of myself and to remain truest to my values, to my goals, and to the life I envision for myself. It feels good. And I feel good that I finally have the courage and resolve to give it a real shot.