Dear Ants,
I had hoped that we could resolve this peacefully. I have tried, for two weeks now, to tolerate your occasional presence in my car. Granted, you are only little black ants, and there are only a few of you here and there, but your scampering across the dashboard is a distraction while I am driving, to say the least. And one of you did bite me on the arm, which was less than appreciated.
In my defense, I tried everything. I waited for a few days to see if you might go away. I sprayed vinegar around my car--something you are rumored to hate. I created a trail of baking soda in hopes that you wouldn't cross it, but I think all I managed to do was look like a crazy person creating a circle of chalk around my car in voodoo-esque fashion. Despite these efforts, you have persisted. I was really hoping you'd take the hint.
Therefore, I'm afraid that I must wage war. The ant trap has been placed in the ground. I am not the killing kind, and I was hoping not to wage a battle with your entire colony, but I simply cannot tolerate you any more. I am sorry for any loss you might incur, as I greatly respect your place in the ecosystem. I cannot, however, continue to incur the risk of an accident while looking for you each day during my morning commute.
May you rest in peace.
Respectfully yours,
Jenn
1 comment:
It's ok. At least you cared enough to try! That's more than like 98% of the world, so good on you!
I 100% feel your pain. After no-kill trapping 2 mice, I'm contemplating calling the exterminator - i.e. outsourcing the murder - because I'm just not sure how many more there are. I just can't bring myself to do it yet.
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